I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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