i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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