remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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