What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
