its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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