I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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