Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
