I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She said her name was "party"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize