Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
