so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
