Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
