I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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