Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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