I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
