Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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