i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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