All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
