I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's blow job season.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
