There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize