I wish I could punch you in the face.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
