Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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