you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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