my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
