I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
