how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
