I wish I only lived at night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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