You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
