So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
