I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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