I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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