It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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