I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
