she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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