That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
