Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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