Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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