I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
