The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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