I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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