meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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