No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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