Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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