fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
