so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
