3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
