Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
there is glitter all over my balls
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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