i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
