Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think my moral compass just broke
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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