her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
