I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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