it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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