after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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