i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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