Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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