I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
