I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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