I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
