this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
