Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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