Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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