you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
where are my eyebrows?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
