yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
