sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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