i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize