i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize