Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
