last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
